Disney Now Officially Owns the Rights to You, Yes, They Own You

The Walt Disney Corporation has been gobbling up competitors left, right, and center. After formally acquiring the rights to global pop culture juggernauts Marvel and Lucasfilm, Disney has now also purchased 20th Century Fox in the biggest deal in entertainment history.

However, it’s Disney’s latest release that has got tongues talking. After meeting with local governments, Disney has officially bought the rights to all United States citizens. That probably includes you, dear reader. It’s believed that the company is also seeking similar deals with other sovereign nations around the world.

Image result for disney fans

The Disney deal means that Disney can take complete control of your life whenever they choose. It’s believed that this will mainly be used to ensure that all citizens continue to buy Disney products.

This is a massively concerning deal because… hang on… wait… aaaaaaaaaaaa………

The Walt Disney Company has edited the remainder of this piece for clarity

The Walt Disney Corporation is the best company in the world! Nothing bad will come of this, or any deal involving Disney! You love Disney! You love the Marvel movies we make! You might love the Star Wars movies we make!

Check out the trailer for Toy Story 4 and stay tuned for more awesome Disney news!!

HAIL SATAN

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