Marvel Executives to Launch Time-Heist to Reclaim Spider-Man From Sony

Kevin Feige has announced that Marvel Studios is planning to embark on an elaborate ‘time-heist’ in order to reclaim the Spider-Man character from Sony pictures.

This comes after news broke today that Sony are allegedly planning to walk back their agreement with Marvel and regain full control over the character.

“It’s going to be tough”, said actor Mark Ruffalo, “but if we can tap into Paul Rudd’s youthful wizard powers, we may have a feasible way to pull this off”.

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Early reports suggest that the time heist involves several main facets.

  • 1) Steal Tom Holland from Amy Pascal’s basement where he is currently being held captive
  • 2) Steal 2016 Tom Hardy so that nobody goes to see Venom
  • 3) Go back and kill baby versions of all current Sony executives

*It’s believed the third point was suggested by actor Don Cheadle, and has not been popular with the other members of the heist team.

Feige’s options are limited. Given that they did just help Sony make the highest grossing Spider-Man film of all time, it would seem that there is little that they could reasonably do to change Sony’s mind. Still, Feige has assured fans that this is the most logical and sensible solution to the problem.

Tom Holland has not been told of the plan out of fears that he will leak it.

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